Smash it. Break it. Crush it.

Dinner out with business associates, potential clients and co-workers is quite common in the corporate world. In fact, extending an invite to the persons spouse is also normal.  I was shocked when a candidate who was going to become a potential manager/partner, in the interview process and close to an offer, got offended by our client asking if he and his spouse would like to, “Go to dinner?”

He acted indignant and shocked. I was told it was inappropriate and asked, “Is my spouse interviewing for the job?” No it was just dinner and then it got WEIRD. Really WEIRD.  

My client was just extending a friendly offer for them to all get to know each other better. It was a small firm and they get together often.  It had nothing to do with the spouse’s race, sex, education, looks, gender, interviewing the spouse, etc. It was just dinner. A basic civil small talk dinner to meet and see if a future partnership could be made.  Dinner. 

The offer was pulled, the hope of a new employee was smashed and I was relieved. Can you imagine the dinner conversation had they met?

Internet Black Hole

I get asked the question, “How do I get their attention?”, all the time from candidates looking for a job. They have trouble getting anyone at the company they are interested in to pay attention to them. Typically, it’s because they have emailed a resume or put an application in online into the internet black hole. 

It doesn’t work.

We all get too many emails and electronic communication – it’s overwhelming. Try something old school – mail your resume directly to the person in charge. If you are applying for a finance or accounting job – the CFO. Need an HR job – VP of HR, General Manager or often the CFO. Need a sales job – hit up the VP Sales.  No one gets mail anymore – USPS mail. Think about it? When you do get mail it’s the occasional medical bill. Go old school and mail that letter directly to the person you want attention from!  Then follow up with an email article that they might be interested in inquiring about your mailed resume. It works a good amount of the time! Now go mail that resume.

Holly, jolly tips and tricks for the holidays!

Food -

Don’t make everything from scratch – cheat a little with quality premade delicious treats and sides.

If you decide to cook everything get most of your side dishes and desserts done ahead of time.

You don’t need 6 side dishes - pick 2 or 3.  

Put out a bar so people can make their own drinks.

Say yes to help in the kitchen!

Travel -

Ship gifts ahead of time.  

At the airport pack your food and toiletries in their own separate zip lock bags so you clear security easily.

Pack fun toys or candy for the kids.  

Load up your iPhone or tablet with lots of games, music and books.

Day of the party -

If politics are too much to talk about - plan an activity. Make ornaments, decorate cookies, play a game or grab the old photo books and go through them. Create something to do to avoid the discourse.

Set the table ahead of time and set out the serving dishes too.

 If the standard gift exchange is getting old – go with a theme – white elephant, flip flop exchange (I’d say socks but we are here in SoCal and we are in flip flops more than socks!), cooking spice exchange, snack/cookie exchange, favorite Christmas movie or favorite candy!  There are lots of fun possibilities – get creative.

Again, if people ask to help clean up just say YES!

Merry Christmas! 

Annoying Words

Organic growth. Culture of Engagement. Disruption. 

Ugh. Stupid phrases that are driving us nuts here at work – organic growth, culture of engagement and disruption. We keep on hearing the same catch phrases over and over and over.  It’s like the bad joke that your Uncle can’t quit telling at every party.  For instance, “We are going to organically grow our staff.”  Do you mean you are finally going to start train people like all companies should?  How about just start using the term training or maybe teaching? Organically growing needs to be left for farmers. 

Engagement – the culture of engagement. Seriously? What happened to showing up at work and doing a good job. I understand welcoming them on their first day, training and treating them well but it seems like it’s a bit more hand holding. Get to work – dig in and be thankful that you have a job.

The worst word is disruptors! Everyone wants to be a disruptor. Now a new idea is a “disruptor” instead of just a cool new innovative idea. Industries transition constantly. New innovative business is where we all want to be why call it disruption. I think people just get bored with the English language and choose to be disruptive!  

Prep List for Dinner out with a Potential Boss

Get a haircut, polish your shoes and clean up your nails.  Do whatever you need to do to look highly presentable.

Turn your phone to mute.

Remember your table manners.

Smile and relax this is supposed to be a nice social experience.   

When ordering food keep it simple with minimal to no substitutions.

Be polite to the wait staff. Nothing says arrogance like being nasty to the people serving you.

Only order an alcoholic drink if the potential boss orders one. Then keep to one drink max – it is a business meeting.

Let your potential boss lead the conversation but have a few good questions to ask.

Enjoy the experience and get to know your potential boss. Remember you want to find out if you can work with this person as much as they want to find out about you. My theory on dinners is they are making sure that if you all are stuck in an airport for 6 hours you get along well! 

The Art of Listening

I have a friend who loves to talk and offer advice and often very unsolicited advice.  It poses a problem because often she’s not listening so the advice, as much as it is heartfelt, doesn’t always work because she wasn’t listening to begin with, so the response is off. I have another acquaintance who doesn’t listen at all she just talks and talks AND talks. I can’t get a word in.The art of listening is lost on both of these people. I think they both mean well and are kind but actually listening and having a two-way conversation seems to be missed in most of their communications. I think listening is an art and here a few tips:

Eye contact is necessary – look the person in the eyes 

Be aware and attentive – show interest. Nod your head, lean in, show some interest. 

Don’t interrupt – wait for a pause before you jump into the conversation.

It might not be your idea, opinion or even a fact but relax and take it in.  It’s OK to disagree just do it graciously. 

Don’t try to think ahead about your response because you’ll miss half of what they say.

If everyone tried to actively listen to each other I think there would be less communication problems. 

Mom Fail

My son asked me to bake some cookies for his half birthday at elementary school. He has a summer birthday so being able to have a half birthday is a big deal. He was excited and asked me to make my “famous” chocolate chip cookies. I’ve been baking these cookies since I was a kid so it’s not rocket science – normally not rocket science. It turned out it was rocket science! It was way too much for me to do after work, dinner, laundry, homework assistance etc. It was a complete debacle- total loss - a big FAIL. Give the mommy an F.

Somehow during the process and all the help I was getting, we ended up putting an extra cup of flour into the mix. The cookie dough was more like a hockey puck then a cookie. Sadly, the big batch of dough went in the trash.

I ended up at the local bakery at 7:45 a.m. before school started to pick up sugar cookies for his party. It all ended up being OK and my son entertained his teacher with our antics – I got a funny email from her today telling me that we are hilarious. I have to agree. It just goes to show that that work life balance everyone is always talking about is never easy – for me it doesn’t exist. It’s the 60/40 or 70/30 or the 90/10 days that I have accepted. There is no 50/50 and no chance of perfection. There are just days where you attempt a cookie and make a hockey puck! But those days are great memories. 

Tips from Bill "The Old School HR Guy"

Advice on how to manage Millennials from Bill M. the “Old School HR Guy”. Bill comes off super old school but then has some amazing nuggets of advice for the future generation. Seriously, this is some good advice -

1. Millennials want a defined career path. Hope for the future. Outline that for them and give them goals to meet.

2. If you are reviewing them praise them a lot and give only one (1) negative. Yup, limit yourself please. If you give too many negatives they dwell on that instead of the positive.

3. Make work a fun place – they want fun at work. Put in a pool table or a ping pong table for them to blow off some steam and let them socialize a bit. They like work to be social.

4. Speaking of being social, you need to plan employee activities outside of the office for them to do after work or at lunch. They love free lunch, drinks out and fun bonding activities. 

A PSA on Professional Profile Pictures

1. No bathroom 'selfies'. Please, for the sake of my sanity and your integrity, do not post pictures of yourself in the bathroom on any social media sites. Or - as a rule of thumb - avoid taking pictures of yourself in the bathroom period.

2. No visible phones or cameras. It's unprofessional and, really, no one cares to see what model phone you have. It's quick and easy to ask someone to take a picture of you and the result will be received much better.

3. Ladies - NO cleavage. Sit up straight and wear a sensible and work-appropriate shirt in your picture. Unless you're being considered for a position at Hooters, employers do not need to see that. 

4. No props. Played football in high school? Great - ditch the ball in the picture. Caught a prize winning bass? Good for you we don't need to see it unless you are a boat captain. When it comes to posting on a platform for professionals, those sort of accomplishments do not need to be highlighted in your profile picture.

5. Look happy. People respond well to smiling. Companies want content and fulfilled people working for them. Find or take a picture with something you love - your kids, you pets, your partner - and crop them out. The picture will convey genuine happiness while maintaining professionalism.

Internet Black Hole

Today while talking to a terrific, very smart USC MBA (he has a MS in engineering too), he mentioned the black holes of the internet: job/resume portals. He said they don’t work, on line networking doesn’t work and emailing resumes directly to HR doesn’t work. For the most part, he’s right. Our world of instant emails, instant gratification doesn’t always work for finding a job. So, note to job hunters – finding a job is very hard work and sometimes you have to go the extra mile. Finding a job is harder work than having a job. In order to not end up in the black hole you need to go the extra mile .

Create - a list of companies that interest you. Then find out who is in charge of what you want to do. Example, if you are a marketing person, find out who is the Marketing Director or Marketing Vice President. Then, send your resume directly to that person – after you customize your resume – see below for more on that. You can also send it to HR.

Tailor - your resume to fit the job you are applying for. Do not lie, do not embellish but do highlight those skills that are applicable to the job you are applying for. Your resume is a marketing tool. It helps you get the job but you need to get in the door to sell yourself.

Follow - always follow up a resume with a phone call. You can call twice and send one email, after that you become a stalker. You do not want to become a stalker.

Interview - When you get the interview remember your elevator pitch, know your resume and sell yourself. Know enough about the company to be able to explain why your skill set fits their needs.

Thank you – write a thank you note, don’t just email it. Personal well written notes are still a nice touch.

Got the job – great! Now get ready to work. Didn’t get the job – make sure you tell the people you interviewed with that they can forward your resume to anyone they think might be able to use your skill sets. Always stay on good terms with anyone you’ve interviewed with – you never know who they know. It’s best not to end up in the black hole of a burned bridge.