The Art of Listening

I have a friend who loves to talk and offer advice and often very unsolicited advice.  It poses a problem because often she’s not listening so the advice, as much as it is heartfelt, doesn’t always work because she wasn’t listening to begin with, so the response is off. I have another acquaintance who doesn’t listen at all she just talks and talks AND talks. I can’t get a word in.The art of listening is lost on both of these people. I think they both mean well and are kind but actually listening and having a two-way conversation seems to be missed in most of their communications. I think listening is an art and here a few tips:

Eye contact is necessary – look the person in the eyes 

Be aware and attentive – show interest. Nod your head, lean in, show some interest. 

Don’t interrupt – wait for a pause before you jump into the conversation.

It might not be your idea, opinion or even a fact but relax and take it in.  It’s OK to disagree just do it graciously. 

Don’t try to think ahead about your response because you’ll miss half of what they say.

If everyone tried to actively listen to each other I think there would be less communication problems. 

What to Wear?

The questions we get a lot is: what do I wear to my interview?  Companies run the gambit from super casual, shorts and t-shirts (surf companies) to formality in full blown suits, ties and spit polished shoes (investment firms/private equity) to jeans and hardhats on construction sites. It can be confusing and hugely annoying to try to figure it out but, it’s all about knowing your audience. Here are a few tips on how to find out what to wear - 

• Check their website to get a feel for their formality or lack of formality.
• If you are working with a recruiter, ask them for clarification. We always ask our clients what their dress code is.
• Check their Facebook and LinkedIn pages to see what people are wearing.
• If it’s an athletic/sportswear company, professional casual is usually best. If you’re going to a bank, CPA firm, or investment firm get the suit, polish your shoes, and get a haircut. 
• If you are still not sure what to wear do a “drive by” in the morning, at lunch, or after work to check out what the people are wearing as they go to and from work.
• If you are still not sure, the best bet is a suit. If you are too formal, it’s easy to take the jacket off and tone it down a bit. 

I already sent it.

I had two people in two days’ time ask me for help with their job searches after they’d sent their resume to a company. They wanted me to call the company directly to pitch them because they didn’t get a response from sending in their resume. This happens often, the black-hole of resumes - no response from emailing a resume. It goes into a virtual pile of paperless resumes. 

Sadly, I can’t help. Once you send a resume you are considered a "prior" by human resources. This means that I basically have no claim to your resume anymore as my candidate; you become the company's. Occasionally, if they are a client we’ve been working with for years and if they’ve over looked you, they are fine with us presenting you. However, if we don’t have that relationship and you are in their system – they don’t want to talk to me let alone pay a commission.

Recruiters work for our clients. As much as we try here at TAG to help every candidate possible (the person applying for the job) we can’t. Our client, the company, their needs come first. We find and fill what they need. It’s one of the rough edges of recruiting. I’d love to start a candidate coaching/teaching division one of these days so we can help out people a bit more, but Dave prefers to stay focused on recruiting – which is fine. He’s still here working daily so we try to stick to what works for him.  

So, we recruit and work to find the proper candidates for our clients. If you do need help on your own, this blog is a good place to start! 

Cringe worthy pictures on LinkedIn

Ugh – what is happening to LinkedIn? Lately when I go on it, I cringe, waiting for whatever tasteless picture pops up in my feed. Being a recruiter, I am connected to a lot of people, professional people, but, I’m starting to worry about some of these "professional" people.

Last week the first picture that popped up was an XX, a larger guy with without a shirt. Right after that, a cow jumping on a trampoline and then a silly math problem to answer. Today, it was a dead dog – I saw that horrible image twice, then a girl in a bikini and the final straw that sent me complaining to customer service was a girl in a top that was showing her nipples. Really, is that image okay at work?  If that was put up in the break room would that be acceptable? Maybe at a bra or lingerie company, but not at most professional establishments.  

There is a lack of professionalism happening on LinkedIn. Getting a point across can still be tasteful and professional. I don’t want a bloody, dead dog picture to interrupt my day at work. I see enough bikini clad gals and topless guys at the beach when we go surfing. Can we please keep it a bit more professional? I wonder what will be up there next? 

Mom Fail

My son asked me to bake some cookies for his half birthday at elementary school. He has a summer birthday so being able to have a half birthday is a big deal. He was excited and asked me to make my “famous” chocolate chip cookies. I’ve been baking these cookies since I was a kid so it’s not rocket science – normally not rocket science. It turned out it was rocket science! It was way too much for me to do after work, dinner, laundry, homework assistance etc. It was a complete debacle- total loss - a big FAIL. Give the mommy an F.

Somehow during the process and all the help I was getting, we ended up putting an extra cup of flour into the mix. The cookie dough was more like a hockey puck then a cookie. Sadly, the big batch of dough went in the trash.

I ended up at the local bakery at 7:45 a.m. before school started to pick up sugar cookies for his party. It all ended up being OK and my son entertained his teacher with our antics – I got a funny email from her today telling me that we are hilarious. I have to agree. It just goes to show that that work life balance everyone is always talking about is never easy – for me it doesn’t exist. It’s the 60/40 or 70/30 or the 90/10 days that I have accepted. There is no 50/50 and no chance of perfection. There are just days where you attempt a cookie and make a hockey puck! But those days are great memories. 

Merry Christmas

For the first time in a long time I’m ready for it – I think, OK, I hope.  It is the middle of the month and the interior and exterior of our house is decorated.  The tree is up and decorated with a ridiculous amount of ornaments just like my Great Grandma Veary’s tree.  Her tree was the most decorated tree I’ve ever seen – it had so many ornaments on it you couldn’t tell it was fake!   Our Christmas cards are done – addressed, stamped and mailed! Thanks to my husband, most of the gifts are ordered and being delivered. I’ve even started wrapping the presents.   This year I actually feel in control of the madness and I’m not so stressed.  I have even planned to make cookies with the boys this weekend.  Cookies from scratch!   I have a sense of calm this year and which has led to organized holiday fun. It’s a good feeling, a Christmas feeling and I’m going to roll with it!


Merry Christmas!

Gone SO Wrong

It went so wrong. We had a client conference call recently that went so sideways I ended up on Pinterest browsing through Christmas stuff while listening to him rant. It felt like we were talking to a 1970’s executive who was smoking and drinking his martini’s while dictating to his secretary and letting his ego do the talking. Keep in mind,  this client was in a high tech, cutting edge industry, but it felt like “Silicon Valley 1970”.  Any question I asked was wrong including when I told him I did some research on the company he worked for -  that was wrong! I was told I shouldn’t do any research! Oh my, the ego. 

We do research on all companies we work for  – the background information we gather on employees, the company website, Glassdoor, press releases etc. is priceless. We can gather all sorts of info. on people and learn who they are by how they present themselves. For example, when they say they are “published” and it’s only a blog – everyone has a blog  - or they have a “white paper” and it’s their non-expert super short opinion with little to no facts.  Or they claim to have worked at a job for 15 years when in fact they have been consulting and bumping around for the last 15 years. 

All that information creates a character profile. Research is priceless!  I have been blessed with amazing clients over all these years but this potential high tech client was a definite NO! We declined to work with them – no going back to the dark ages.